Leadercast Lessons: Brutality

Brutality harms both parties. No one escapes unscathed.
— Archbishop Desmond Tutu

How does a statement about brutality make it's way into my notes at a conference of leadership? To be fair, I'm really not sure. Somehow, it just felt true.

Weirder still, during my travel home, this statement about brutality started to feel like it mattered in my parenting.

Now, I don't abuse my kids. I don't beat them or attack them verbally. We've scaled back on any sort of spanking and we intentionally craft our words so we don't ever call them stupid or dumb. But still, this statement pushes it's way into my heart.

My confession: I yell. 

I mean, it's two boys, so they just get loud, and then the don't hear me. I lose my cool and start shouting at them. I tell myself that it's just to be heard over their crazy noise, but sometimes, they aren't being loud and I'm just mad. 

Brutality isn't just physical. In our house, it's yelling. 

My boys get scared, my little daughter starts crying and I regret it the moment it happens. Yelling hurts my soul as much as it does theirs. Neither of us escapes unscathed. 

It's really not really good yet, but this awareness makes me breathe a half second longer, so I can yell a little less. When I do lose it, I'm much quicker to shut it down, and quicker to apologize.

What is Leadercast? An organization that builds leaders worth following. Learn more at leadercast.com.