End of My Self

Life is best lived at the end of my self.

The end of my self.

It started as me, then myself and I landed on my self. Oddly, those are different.

Me and myself are all about...well, me.

Self, my self, seems a bigger, more encompassing phrase to describe all of me (or all of you, as you read this).

Life is better when I'm living at the edge of what I can do. At the end of my abilities, when I have to learn, is where creativity kicks in. I can't fall into old habits. Don't get me wrong: it's not exactly fun. In fact, life is terrifying and exhausting. But it's better.

Life is best when I'm living at the end of what I believe. When I'm learning things that challenge my beliefs and my faith, I have to grow. I must understand why I believe what I believe. Right now, the framework I grew up with is being challenged by none other than my own thinking. The tension is awful here, but I expect to be stronger as this goes on (I almost said "when I emerge from this" but I don't think that'll happen).

Life is best when I'm living at the end of my self concern. By handing over the care of my self to others I trust (my wife, my family, my few friends) I am free to love more fully, serve more completely and to invest more deeply. Doesn't that sound beautiful? May my actions reflect this each day.

The end of me, myself, my self. Life is better here. It's harder, scarier, and risky. But it's better because it's lived more fully. If you know Jesus, if you follow him, it's better here because this is where he steps in. They call it a leap of faith, but most of the time it's more like when Indiana Jones takes that one step out into the abyss.

May you learn to live at the end of your self.


Editing props to my friend Polly Lott.